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If you don’t understand Twitter, it’s ok. Exactly one year ago today (did not plan that, I swear), I posted my first Tweet & literally had no idea what the point was. It didn’t help that Twittervision was my initial foray into this communication vehicle & caused massive information overload. That’s akin to ordering tako the first time you eat sushi; sometimes it makes sense to dive in without abandon…other times a more cautious approach is required.
It can be a little intimidating at first; Twitter is not the easiest place to assimilate yourself. It takes time & you will find, fairly early in the process, that it is good to have a balance of people you follow. Once you get a feel for the flow, you’ll see how easy it is to add people you know, find new people, & minimize the noise. You can change the voice & direction of conversation without much hassle.
I did not visit or log on to Twitter again until the end of March, this year. Now I get it…well, mostly. So, in the spirit of getting it & idea mashups, I dedicate a post to Twitter with a bit of Starbucks influence. While this is no Machiavellian approach, I’ve segmented things based on what I’ve seen thus far.
Solo
- What they do: Literally answer the question, “What are you doing?”
- Who follows them: No one…yet.
- Why you should follow them: If your TweetStats tell you something along the lines of “get a life” or “you are supposed to use your vocal chords to communicate as well”. Their random posts with no replies will remind you what it’s like to be the low man on the Tweetem pole.
Dopio
- What they do: Random status updates aimed at pulling people in…problem is, not too many are listening.
- Who follows them: Mostly kind people who Dopios have added; many of them gleaned from or recommended by friends & co-workers. Maybe a few friends & old colleagues they have referred to Twitter.
- Why you should follow them: If you’re tired of talking & want to listen to someone else talk about things like current events, sports, weather, Belgian beers, or why stupid people are the bane of their existence.
Tall
- What they do: Multi-task; they tweet semi-frequently, but are more interested in on-demand access to people, information, answers, etc.
- Who follows them: Industry peers, friends, airlines, news wires, bars, restaurants…usually a reciprocated follow.
- Why you should follow them: Their multi-tasking nature & hunger for information will have inherent fringe benefits. They have a knack for pointing people in the right direction.
Grande
- What they do: These are your industry & social leaders. Somehow, even the seemingly inane stuff they post is relevant & adds to the conversation or sparks an idea. Dopios aspire to be Grandes.
- Who follows them: Those with a thirst for knowledge who seek inspiration on a daily basis.
- Why you should follow them: If you are looking for cutting edge stuff, personally or professionally, these people have it. It will be difficult to keep up though as many others have identified this. Be prepared to retweet. Truthfully, I don’t know how Grandes keep up with it all.
Venti
- What they do: If you’re not sure what’s on their mind this very second, give it a couple minutes, you’ll soon know. By day, they are solving the world’s problems. By night, they want you to know that what they’re doing & where they’re going is way cooler than anything you’ve got planned.
- Who follows them: Industry peers, social media mavens, friends, Obama, your mom, your dad…just about everyone.
- Why you should follow them: Because of their hyperactive involvement, Ventis have lists of followers that would make an aspiring Tweeter jealous. You want to get plugged in fast? Follow a handful of Ventis & add the Twitter RSS feed to your reader.
Barista
- What they do: Have a following:follower ratio of about 15,000:1. Their lives are truly & fully open books. Random micro-blogging at its worst finest.
- Who follows them: Not many, but mainly because people don’t want current or potential followers (or simple browsers) to know they follow people like this. While Baristas don’t have as many followers as they’d like, people occasionally read their tweets.
- Why you should follow them: Keeps you on your toes & reminds you that everything you publish online can follow you forever.
So, which style best describes you?
Don’t have Twitter? Sign up, install twhirl, use Tweet Scan, TwitterLocal & Twitter Friend Recs, & when you’re bored, check these - TweetStats, Twistori, & Tweet Clouds.

